20 Questions February 29, 2008

I have 20 questions to ask no one in particular, but would like an answer some day. I’m sure I’m not the only one asking these questions. Some of them are serious and some of them are trivial. So, here goes.

* The first 5 of 20 Questions
* Why is it that I’m always left with one odd sock after sorting the laundry?
* Why are there no tea bags left when we come back from vacation?
* Why does the phone stop ringing just as I get there, having run in from the garden?
* Why does my computer crash when I’m racing for a deadline?
* Why are the yummy foods like ice cream, burgers and fries bad for me?

Here are the next 5 of 20 Questions
* Why is there never a police officer around when you need one?
* Why do the tax people demand money from me straight away but keep my tax refunds for months?
* Why can’t I sleep at two in the morning and fall asleep next lunchtime?
* Why do sales people always call when I’m in the middle of having dinner?
* Why can I fill a crossword puzzle except for one last clue?

Here are the next 5 of 20 Questions
Why are soldiers trained to kill, called peacekeepers?
* Why did the Kennedy brothers and Martin Luther King die and certain other people survive?
Why do people put inserts into magazines, for them to fall on the floor?
* Why do crazy people believe we didn’t really land on the moon?
* Why do people keep constructing homes on flood belts?

Here are the next 5 of 20 Questions
* Why isn’t Michael Moore President of the United States?
* Why isn’t Lisa Simpson the Vice President?
* Why doesn’t a life sentence mean a life sentence?
* Why is it so easy to buy a gun in the US?
* Why does the key on the corned beef can always break?

Strangely, I bet it’s the more silly questions people relate to. As we rush around each day, it’s the little niggling things which get you down. I guess we think the big issues will take care of themselves and it’s the pen we can’t find that drives us mad! I would swap a debate on gun laws with anyone if they volunteer to come and defrost my freezer.

20 Crazy Things We All Do January 16, 2008

1 ) Why does the glue in a tube not stick to the tube itself?

2 ) Academic research has detailed reports stating that from a group of four men or women one will most certainly have a mental ailment of some kind or the other. Think about this calculation: if you have three normal friends, then you, unfortunately are the fourth one out. In other words, the fourth person with a mental illness is none other than you.

3 ) Why do we press down hard on the remote control even though we know that the batteries are weak.

4 ) Watched old (and even newer descriptions in film) about Tarzan. If he is supposed to be living in the wild, what happened to his beard?

5 ) Switched those bulbs that are enclosed in tight plastic shutters? Have you noticed that whenever you go to do that there are always dead bugs inside? How did they manage to get there?

6 ) Why can’t we ever manage to open a plastic bag on the first attempt?

7 ) Why do they use sterilized needles when injecting a convict on death role?

8 ) Why does a bank take interest on money when your account is overdrawn. From where do they think you are going to pay them? If you had the cash you would have used it, wouldn’t you?

9 ) Why don’t we ever hear jokes about father-in-laws?

10) When statistics claim that the sum of all the stars in the sky are about four billion, people believe it. But, when someone sees a sign on a park bench or board stating “wet paint”, they must verify this?

11) How many times will be keep coming back and opening the door to the fridge when we are hungry? Do we really think that food will appear there miraculously?

12) Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest but ducks if after the bullets are over the gun is thrown at him?

13) I’m sure you’ve heard of the evolutionary claim that mankind has evolved from monkeys. Before I am to believe this, I want to know that if this is so why are monkeys still roaming earth?

14) If you are sitting by a table and something is accidentally falling off, don’t try and prevent its fall. Why? Every time you try, you will accidentally hit and break something else.

15) Why did the Japanese pilots who were planning to crash into American ships wear helmets?

16) Why do people move a vacuum cleaner over a small piece of thread again and again. Why do we pick it up, examine it and then place it back down and move the vacuum cleaner over it to give it a second chance?

17) How come soap bubbles are always white no matter what the colour of the soap?

18) Is it winter or summer wherever you are right now? Have you noticed that if it is summer we try and make the house as cold as it would be during winter, and if it is winter, we try and make the house as hot as it would during summer?

19) Why is it that whenever you walk past a mattress dealership, they have large signs advertising a big price reduction?

20) Isn’t it silly that when if wandering through one of the large shopping malls someone doesn’t pay attention and the cart they are pushing smacks into your toes, and then they say sorry, all we can think of saying is that no harm was done while your toe is aching.