10. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)
9. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Then wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially
effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
8. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these
names. “That’s a good point, Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry. I’m going to have
to disagree with you there, Chachi.”
7. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you’re doing.
For example “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom doing a number 2.”
6. “Highlight” your shoes. Tell people that you haven’t lost your shoes
since you did this.
5. Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
4. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time
for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during the meeting. During
the meeting eat 5 entire raw onions.
4b. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want
fries with that.
3a. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair
3b. Determine how many cups of coffee is “too many.”
2. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
1. Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc… in the
lunchroom, when people complain that there was none… Just lean back,
pat your stomach, and say, “Oh you’ve got to be faster than that.”