BBQ RULES February 27, 2008

We are about to enter the spring and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine…
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine…
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine…
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women…

Top 10 Reasons To Be In Love January 18, 2008

10. If you act interested in what he is saying, the more attention you get.

9. You learn just how… rewarding… it is when someone blocks out your blabbering and the only words they respond with are “yes dear”, “of course”, “why not” and “go ahead”. (Especially after you discover the trend!)

8. You learn that it is okay to snuggle, nuzzle and kiss cute animals, especially if she finds it adorable.

7. The more you teach her, the more she becomes like the guys… the more you get to show her off!

6. You can use her as an excuse to watch the new chick flick you have kind of been wanting to see. Okay, okay, you have been dying to see.

5. Shopping is always more fun when you open your wallet and chose the card with HIS name on it, instead of yours.

4. You no longer feel out of place at social events for being single, yet you dont feel bad about adding to the out of placeness.

3. She will always give you a reason to feel like a stong, burly man. “Honey, something’s wrong with my car”, “Can you come move this for me?”.

2. You forget what it is like to feel manly when you are walking around in the new pink tee’s she picked out for you… and kind of like it.

1. You now have someone to test that new recipe, haircut, etc on that you have been craving to try, but have just lacked that victim to try it on.